New Zodiac Signs? Panic? Turmoil?

The Facebook is a-flurry this week with a lot of hubbub about a new zodiac sign being recognized, and adding to the panic is the fact that people’s sense of wellbeing is being besieged, plagued even, by worries that matters of fate will no longer be crystal clear through a detailed understanding of time-honored astrological principles, due to the fact that the signs’ places in the Earth’s night sky have shifted due to the wobbly orbit of our little planet.

All of this got me thinking.  Thinking hard.

When I was born Aries was the predominant sign. So hypothetically speaking…(stay with me here)…had I been on the MOON when I was born, and the moon had been between the Earth and the constellation Aries, I would have been even CLOSER to the great goat sign in the sky, and thus more strongly influenced by it.  Doesn’t this mean, therefore, that an April baby on the moon would grow up to be even MORE stubborn and goatish than an Earth baby?

Of COURSE it does.

Obviously.

Crap. Imagine what it’s going to be like when future-people finally leave Earth for good and terraform other planets like Neptune, or Uranus, thinking they have conquered the solar system only to find out that their children are all being born with socially-crippling personality disorders relating to their new proximity to the influence of these powerful stellar arrangements, causing the fledgling human settlements to collapse under self-destructive cancer-on-pisces warfare.  O, the bitter irony!

I have to wonder, though, how this incredible cosmic force affects GOATS who were born in early April. And I wonder if bulls that were born under the sign of Aries ever feel like a goat trapped in a Taurus’ body. Like, is a bull that was born on May 1st more of a bull than one that was born April 1st? Sorry…that’s a silly question.  Of COURSE it is.

Obviously.

But in all seriousness…

…isn’t it amazing that a stone-aged superstition remains intact after all these thousands of years of technology advancement and migration, that it survives despite being at opposition to every premise of physics and biology that we are aware of, and that it flourishes with nothing to support it but pure faith and the notion that it gives meaning to people’s lives?

Gosh.  Really makes you think, don’t it?  I wonder what ELSE we could say that about.  I wonder if there’s anything, anything at all, that many MANY MANY people believe in RIGHT NOW, that is the same kind of hocus-pocus…

Nah.  Doesn’t seem likely that we’d make that mistake more than once.

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One Response to “New Zodiac Signs? Panic? Turmoil?”

  1. I just noticed this post, but I do remember when facebook was lit up with confusion and frustration that some made up shit had been amended to some other made up shit. I actually wrote a stern reply to one of my friends who was complaining about the zodiac changes; really just making me feel like an asshole, for nobody had anything to say, because, after all, there isn’t anything to say to the astrology skeptic. Any retort will either be intellectually dishonest or a spectacle of confussion – the latter response probably owing to the glut of psudothought pervading popular culture and new age wish-wash.

    I have a suspicion that most who read astrology don’t really believe the stuff, or they don’t believe it in the same way they believe in the efficacy of medical diagnosis, for instance. But I could be wrong. To be sure, I have met people that REALLY believe in atrology and other humiliatingly obvious bullshit like Tarrot readings, but most I’ve met are apt to describe these things as fun, or interesting, and not so much as literally true. Still, the slightest amount of respect for this malarkey should be met with a blizard of reason from the skeptic.

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