Utah loves its porn more than YOUR state does!

Well, anti-depressants and prescription drugs aren’t the ONLY thing we Utahns lead the country in anymore:  According to a study conducted by a professor at Harvard Business School 8 of the 10 states that lead the country in online porn subscriptions (anonymized data provided by credit card companies) are CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN STATES!!!  I’m so happy!

And guess who leads the pack?

Yup.

Utah.  #1 BABY!!!  So what if the Jazz let us down year after god-damned year, we are #1!!!

 

#1 in prescription and non-illicit drug abuse (National Census Bureau)

#1 in anti-depressant use (National Institute of Mental Health)

#1 in internet porn subscriptions (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680-porn-in-the-usa-conservatives-are-biggest-consumers.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news

HOORAY, Utah.  Your mom is proud.

What I’m not sure about is, does this mean that Mormons are indulging in the forbidden, or are the rest of us just finding that Utah’s bullshit porn laws leave us only 2 options: Drive to Evanston, WY (also the nearest place to buy ACTUAL-strength beer and real fireworks!), or stay home, get a porn subscrip, and rock the night away.

It’s probably a mixture of both, I suppose, but since Mobots outnumber us regular folk, like, 9,000 to 1 I’m guessing that the Morg collective is responsible for the lion’s share of subscriptions.  Either way, it should be clear to the Morg that their tactics are failing and that their decrepit culture is rotting from the inside out, and that our resistence is perhaps not so futile.

Essentially what Utah is doing is pushing normal sexual interests into the closet where dysfunction will fester, pushing drinker’s into the basement where they become a subculture (oh yeah, I didn’t mention the proposed law that would allow cops to issue citations to persons who APPEAR drunk), and pretending that prescription drugs are OK to abuse because your bishop/doctor hooked you up. These laws are actually making things WORSE here, and we’ve got the stats to prove it.  That’s it, next election year I’m voting for people who make decisions based on FACTS instead of beliefs.  …give that a try for once.

 

On a side note, the New Kids on the Block just wrapped up a set on Jimmy Kimmel, and now they are being followed by self-proclaimed “whistle-blower” and ex-con, Kevin Trudeau.  WTF?!?!  We’re bringing THESE PEOPLE back?  This world is going to shit in a pioneer handcart.

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8 Responses to “Utah loves its porn more than YOUR state does!”

  1. Utah also has the highest bankruptcy rate, Ha Ha http://www.adherents.com/misc/UtahBankruptcy.pdf

    Mormons tout themselves as the cleanest, most modest and reverent people on the crust. But, as it turns out, they are addicted to porn and prozac, and they are don’t know how to use credit cards. But what should one expect from a group that holds wealth and sexual purity on such high pedestals?

  2. Bankruptcy, too? Damn. Thanks for that tidbit Travis. A picture was already beginning to form of a culture who finds it more important to present the appearance of prosperity and success, and “avoid even the appearance of evil” (which I guess is the rationale behind the new liquor law propositions, like forcing restaurants to build a 10-foot wall in front of their liquor selection – seriosly) than it does about making sure that there is ACTUAL prosperity and success. Communist Russia, anyone? How is it not self-evident that using prozac as a band-aid is causing societal gangrene?

    Nice to hear from ya buddy.

  3. I like when you said that Mormon’s “don’t know how to use credit cards.” Well if you read this blog you know that they know how to do at least ONE thing with their credit cards. LOL.

    Is it possible that their voracious appetite for XXX is leading them into credit card debt, and ultimately bankruptcy? I wouldn’t be surprised; they blame EVERYTHING on porn.

    Sinners.

  4. Cherie M Says:

    This is Cherie from SHAFT and just thought I’d comment on this…

    I wasn’t at all surprised at the porn subscription, anti-depression and drug-prescription abuse, nor the above mentioned bankruptcy for that matter. It’s all about keeping up with the Joneses, here. You’ve got to have the nice house, it’s got to be clean, new boat, big car, at least 4 children, perfectly done hair and modest clothes, temple attendance, church attendance and duties… the list goes on and on and on. It’s such a culture of conformity that the struggle to conform outwardly (and the difficulty of doing so inwardly) breaks a person.

    I was suicidal and depressed for several years as a mormon and I haven’t had a pill since the day I told my parents and left to live on my own for a while. They still tell me I can’t be happy because THEY need to believe I’m unhappy without the organization that controls their lives. The cognitive dissonance and any doubts are, of course, their fault in their minds. It’s a cult with nice packaging, but a cult nonetheless and it results in bad behavior as an outlet.

  5. Jack Phillips Says:

    I think the tithing that Mormons are required to engage in (10% of one’s income must be given to the LDS church) is possibly to blame for Utah’s bankruptcy rate.

    • Yeah, well, you might have a point there. The sad thing is that you are promised by the church that you will recieve blessings for doing so (but never told WHAT those blessings are so that you can attribute any serendipitous occurence to a reward from God for paying tithing). It may not be doctrinal, but every Mormon that I know, my past self included, believes whole-heartedly that if you pay your tithing you’ll actually find yourself with MORE money for having done so.

      What’s worse is that there is a “revelation” in section 64, verse 23 of the Doctrine & Covenants (which is a collection of “revelations that God gave to Joseph Smith over the course of his ministry) which states “for he that is dtithed shall not be eburned at [Jesus’] coming.” I think that the verse is probably better understood to mean that he who has repented and cast of his sins and wordliness will be saved, but most of the Mormons I know, and that’s a lot, take this to mean that you have to pay your tithing to avoid being burned to a crisp when Christ returns, and this verse is commonly cited as Mormons refer to their tithing as “fire insurance.”

      What’s more, because you cannot gain entry into a Mormon temple if you are not a full tithe payer, and because you must recieve certain information in the temple in order to attain the highest degree of salvation, you are basically paying the church to save your soul. It’s just wrong wrong wrong.

  6. fighting_gravity Says:

    “What’s more, because you cannot gain entry into a Mormon temple if you are not a full tithe payer, and because you must recieve certain information in the temple in order to attain the highest degree of salvation, you are basically paying the church to save your soul. It’s just wrong wrong wrong.”

    I like how you have it laid out. I probably should have seen this before, i might just need to pay more attention, but I love the way you put it and can really see this as a racket just as scientology is. I didn’t connect the dots. I like your thoughts and ideas on this.

  7. […] officers were among the first in the nation to be exposed to toxic methamphetamine labortories, as if there weren’t enough reasons to be sheepish when telling people you’re from Uta…They claim that in the 80′s and 90′s officers were not dressed in protective gear and […]

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